Comparison between desert landscapes and glacial landscapes

by Mary Kargar
(Tehran,Iran)

There are many different types of geological land features, desert landscapes and glacial landscapes are just two of them.

Both of these types of areas have extreme weather conditions. While glacial regions are extremely cold desert regions can be extremely hot. Deserts however can become cold at night or be cold almost all the time like the Atacama Desert which is off the coast of Peru.

Deserts do not get much precipitation; the amount they get is not enough to support growth of most plants you see in other places. Deserts usually receive less than 10 inches of rainfall a year.

Glaciers provide water for many streams and lakes from their runoff. Glaciers themselves contain about 69% of the worlds freshwater.

Glacial areas were created by water freezing, lack of evaporation and the slow movement of glaciers to form the areas in which they are now.But Lack of rainfall, wind erosion and evaporation rate are the processes in which create these desert regions.

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Aug 17, 2012
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You are on track!
by: Admin

Hi Mary,

Thanks for submitting your sample essay here at IELTS-USEFUL-TIPS.

Here are some of my unsolicited comments.

On word count

1. The essay is too short for IELTS writing task 2. There are only 164 words in this essay, way below the required. You need at least 250 words for this task to achieve the highest mark possible.

On Punctuation

There are a couple of sentences which were mispunctuated.

Your paragraph 1 should have been punctuated with a full stop(.). There are two independent clauses there which can not be punctuated with a comma. The first clause ends at "features" and should have ended with a full stop. The second clause starts at "desert" and must end with a full stop as well. So the first paragraph should have been written like this:

"There are many different types of geological land features. Desert landscapes and glacial landscapes are just two of them."

You could also have used a coordinating conjunction "and" to connect the two independent clauses which would read like this:

"There are many different types of geological land features and two of them are desert landscapes and glacial landscapes."

Likewise in the fourth paragraph, the word "worlds" should have been made possessive to show its relationship to the word "freshwater. (world's freshwater)

On conjunction

This is where you did best. You have used conjunctions well like while, however and others to show comparison.

The last paragraph could have been better with "processes that create these desert regions" instead of "processes in which create these desert regions".

Overall, the essay is well-written, but sadly not to an IELTS standard. You need to have a well thought out introduction to achieve a compelling conclusion.

You can read some suggestions on how to do these under the "IELTS WRITING TASK 2" at the left side of this page.

Thank you.












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